The Perils of Indepedance

I did not make this blog to whine, I told myself yesterday and  all of today’s morning. But I did make it, aside from sharing my arts and crafts  and everything in between, to mainly document and make a  record of my life as of lately.  And it’s not a whine at all. Don’t get me wrong I’m a very happy person.

I left the comfort of my mother’s house, almost a year ago in  very precarious situation, meaning , no job,  and  in a rush. ( Also, I must confess here that I have no superior education studies what so ever, but that is  another story, so if we see me as a D&D character sheet,  I only have the another language feat. Ok, I have many, I’m a very skilled person , but nothing that counts for earning money.) It was hard and there were times where I didn’t had food, but that was even fun,  oh praise you oatmeal and rice, praise you!  But I have been extremely lucky, I got support to be able to rent the house I live in, I scored first a job as an assistant kinder garden teacher, a job I had to leave, with my heart shattered, for  I fell in love with each and everyone of those kids, cause it did not cover my expenses at all. Then I scored another job translating  movies for dubbing, with made me hate dubbing  even more,  and finally the job I’m at now. With which I can cover my expenses quite decently,  and  be able to travel and buy YARN OMG I LOVE YARN…. moving on…

I do not think about or talk about much or what could be considered my sorrows, I figure there is no use and  the fact would betray everything I believe in, which can be only  be illustrated by my adored Jean Paul Sartre “Freedom is what we do with what the world has made of us.”

But living on my own, so far away from everyone I know and love, sometimes, sucks a little.  I am a loner,  I do not seek  companionship often, and I like my Starfish time.  But, sometimes, like yesterday, when I felt sick, sore throat and evil stomach ache of doom,  I do want some company… I remember quite clearly when I started living alone, that at some point, I  had so little human contact that I started talking to my fridge… my fridge for god’s sake ahahahahah. I even got a cat to at least, talk to something that was alive.  Couldn’t afford her, cute Wenny kitty, had to go, she is quite happy now,  I see her once in a while. This ,was not sad for me, this was new. Anyways, yesterday and  some other days too , I do feel the blues,  I have to  nurse myself if I get sick, and that is quite lonely, my boss helps a lot, but if I were in the city,  I’d have  my bf with me, I could call up my friends,  but no, I had to move  one and a half hour away from everyone I know and love. Also my father I haven’t seen in ages and my mother lives 16 hours away from me.

I think of everything, that is the one peril. Those moments  when you feel like a sad little puppy. Thank fully I have  people, that make me happy and  my art and my crafting to keep me up, and I’ll be moving soon… around March, hopefully. So no biggie there, but that would be the hardest part for sure, also  I am a proud little being, and I  choose not to ask for favours… or well anything really, it’s really hard for me to do so.   Go me. It makes it a bit worse that it ought to be.

Aside from everything, this stage of my life, has been the most wonderful, incredible journey so far.  I am blessed, with true friends whom I love with all my heart that stick to me through thick and thin, I  have found love,  I am in love with  the most incredible person I have ever met ( and I’ve met many), Both of my parents, this year have told me something that I have always wanted to hear, that they are proud of me, and mom cares and wants to know about my life.  I also rediscovered myself in the most wonderful of ways. What else could I ask for?

I mean, there’s also utility paying, which it totally forgot about… and almost got our water supply cut 8D! House making, which I totally suck at,  I really honestly do, I have to work on that.  And well, feeding Wasabi… I do every third day.

There’s no pictures or anything new of the stuff I am making today, for I am camera less . I hope I didn’t bored the shit outta you. I shall now retire to recover and  watch Pride and Prejudice, BBC 1995 mini series ( what, pray tell me, what in the world can make anything and everything better, than Austen and tea? ), and keep those X-mas presents and the order I got going.

Love and Regency novels,

Didi Starfish.

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2 thoughts on “The Perils of Indepedance

  1. Morgan Sin says:

    You have a great attitude, keep your chin up! 🙂 And yes, Austen and tea are wonderful remedies, especially when taken together.

  2. didistarfish says:

    Thankyou, I will, ALWAYS !!! and yes, this is one of the facts of life! I wish I still had the books U_U

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